History in the Making--Darius Rucker

Silly little bands

I tend to give every piece of jewelry I own a meaning. I don't wear anything for pretty. Why own something meaningless. This little hobby of mine can relate alot to the story "neat people versus sloppy people". I would put my self under the category of "sloppy people". A lot of the neat people that I know are really lazy. My mother for instance, she has a really neat room, keeps the kitchen tidy and all, when she's done she rather sleep or watch tv rather than do many productive things. I on the other hand, have trouble finding time to put my laundry away. I just leave it in a bucket in my closet and iron it when I feel the necessity to used a particular item of clothing. So i've been wearing my little silly bands lately and have precisely just wore two dinosaurs. I decited to give them the meaning that the two dinosaurs will represent my threefold utopian dream. It gave me hope that someday i'd find that and i'd get to give the other dinosaur to a significant other. So I wore my silly bands proudly until; I was on my Ruby Tuesday shift and I was asked "what are your silly bands?" I had to give one away to the little 10 year old year that asked me nicely "can I trade you a star for a dinosaur?" Knowing me I had to do what I had to do. How can I say no to a little girl? I say things happen for a reason. Well see where my little dinosaur end up.

moment of clarity.

Very rarely do I get these m0ments, they are the moments that for some reason stay stuck in my heart and in my mind for years. These moments that I tressure with my life that make me the person that I am today. Moments that give me the grin I get when I recall my life in almost an instant. When I think about who I am as a whole person? Why I chose the path I decided to strive for? Who are my friends and what is the most important things I value. I feel a daze.
Typically, there is no secret that I am introverted and have plenty of time to think about many things, but during my days in summer school of 2006, I had a moment of clarity. I had an all around aspect of what are my goals, what are my dreams, and I acknowledged what are my failures. I obviously failed a couple of classes in high school, but I really thank who ever made summer school a plan b for kids like me. I was taking an aerobics class with Mrs. Holden, one of the main tecahers that I admire, not just because she was a great teacher, but because she was just one of the few greatest people I have ever met. I guess, consider her heroic to my eyes. I would observe the way she carried herself and it really reflected me and who I would like to be when I grew up. So i started then, I join clubs, I tried my hardest to ace every class that I had my self-conciousness went straight to the garbage. So i've let things get in my way in the pass and never had the confidence to even intent to try my hardest because I felt I would fall down and never get up. I fear failure, I fear to stay alone and most importantly I fear leaving this life without ever trying my hardest or without being the best version of me that I could possibly be. My moment of clarity happend that year, when the sun was blazing I had a gallon of water to my reach, I was soaking it in like if I was soaking up my intire life. It happend when I saw the my reflection in Mrs.Holden when I observed her as she opened the doors to the classroom.

jogging

Jogging is my favorite hobby. Whenever i have free time I go the nearby park to jog my lungs off. Breathing deep while concentrating on a beautiful scenery is the best way to release stress. I enjoy jogging because it gives me great physical results; it targets your abdominals and makes your legs really strong. I do this whenever I need an escape, it is so easy, enjoyable and also affordable. Beats buying a pack of cigarettes with the bad health problems it causes. Over the years, with work and all, my size 5 feet can only handle so much so I have to just adjust to walking or jogging unlike I used to do before when I used to run track. The scenery around my neighborhood is really peaceful, the sun setting , the families and their kids just having a great time and atheletes enjoying what they love to do; It is really nice. I like to be alone sometimes, I stay away from big crowds, big events that include drugs, sex and peer pressure. Here I don't know none of that. When I was little I would see all the old people jog at the park and always wanted to know how that felt. Lazy people call it a waist of time, not pleasing or too hard to dedicate to, but to me it is easy as breathing. This is my hobby and i wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

courage

People keep their guard up because of fear. Fear of rejection, fear of putting yourself out there, failure of not succeding and not being able to pick up the pieces. I am one of them I fathem the amount of times that I have placed my guard up so high in order not to feel pain. Sometimes I feel like i miss out on life because i settle for comfort. I sometimes avoid people because of fear that i wont fit in. I fear learning new things and not having the courage to stand up for what i believe in. During the civil rights movement Dr Martin Luthur King jr was more than that and spoke his mind to the world fearless. I admire people like him, people who arn't afraid to speak their mind. He helped the negros get freed by one speech that caused him his life.

pressure

As I read the essay on "college pressures", I never thought about it before until the past week. I had difficulting understanding how to make fraction quivalent and I have been struggling with that chapter since I was in 6th grade and now that I am taking arithmetics; I have been stressing it all semester. I had the biggest panic attack and high blood pressure because I was scared that I wasn't going to be able to pass my class. I was upset and unpleased that I understand algebra to the fullest and I couldn't possibly find a way to master fractions. I was nervous all day thinking about not passing, not succeding and failing at life. I crashed and burned. School is so important to me. With work and resently my second job, family and school I was overwhelmed and needed to find a solution. I did. I quit my job at Forever 21 and remained with only one. My great co-worker Denise really helped me master fractions in less than a 5 minutes as we set a dte for studing. Tutors have been at it to help me and I just simply didn't comprehend. College does bring alot of pressure in everyway now that I think about it, but it's worth it.

role models

Parents play an important role in a child's life, but sometimes parents can't be around often because of work or other circumstances.Children need a role model, may it be a teacher, an aunt , a grandparent or a big brother or sister. See the case with me was that i never had that when growing up. I never had anyone take me to the library to read "the cat and the hat" niether do i know about "green eggs and ham."

I'm the oldest of all in my family. My mother has worked a lot and was hardly around and when she had free time, she would be too tired to teach me anything. I picked up a chalk and board or coloring book and played teacher and student by my self. When I aquired common sense at age 14 i learned how to play baseball. Fell in love with th game, but my mom discouraged me because she would say it was a

mens' sport. I still don't agree.

I've never been enforced to join clubs or get good grades just " Kristin go to school and be deciplined and be quiet. I better not find out you misbehaved.''I have younger brothers and sisters, but i wish i had a role model when growing up like an older sibling. Som e children are so fortunate.

why am i so undecided?

When it comes to my food choices, life changing choices, hair color or boyfriends I'm the most undecided person I ever met. I always try harder to get to better stages but i always seem to walk with my feet going toward the opposite direction. I always end up regreting many things because of my stubborness and I think it shows in my physical features. My hair is bright yellow blonde and it is dry and dull because I was blonde, then brunette, then a mixed and now it is light as it can be. When it comes to relationships I am always the dumpy always looking for a better catch and then go back to what I considered before not good enough. Right now i am in a possition where i didn't expect to be but I should have because I know myself quite well. As i mentioned in my other blog I quit my waitress possition and started my new job working in the retail business and it sucks. Why am i am so undecited?Why am i always debating and comparing and contrast and making such bad decisions? now I am just hoping ruby tuesday takes me back in order to work the two jobs. I seem to only make matters worst all the time. Good luck to me this time around.

iris

My favorite song is sung by the Goo Goo dolls, and it is called Iris. It's featured as the theme song to my favorite movie"City of Angels". This song has the most incredibly beautiful words I've ever heard. The song is poetry, a wonderful definition of deep and unconditional love, which is rare to find and define. I could never find the better words to describe love until this song. This is the song I want played at my wedding, someday.

This song has always been a mystery to me. So complex that I don't know if I would ever feel the way the narrator of the song feels, but I get goosebumps with just the thought of coming close to it. If i only could someday, I could not be more satisfied with life. I'm a dreamer and believer that things happen for a reason. As cliche as this seems, because of this song; I believe. I believe in magic, angels, love and god.

The move that will change my life

I never been on the high way before, never been out of Florida. I've only just circled Hialeah over a billion times over these past 3 years. So this week we moved all our things to Tamiami. For me this is a big step after living in Hialeah for 12 years. Me, my mom and my two brothers are really happy. We've been seeking to escape Hialeah for quite a while now. My mother's main concern is my driving and hoping I don't get into any car accidents like I have before. I really think this huge change will give me diffrent hobbies, diffrent priorities and expand my theory in growing up as a person. I leave Hialeah proudly. This new place is paradise for me.I don't know anyone in this town to my advantage and thats great. I just hate going to the nearby pharmacy or the nearby grocery store in Hialeah and bumping into "fulana del tal" or "fulanito".

Here in Tamiami, I have so many places I can apply to for a new job. Sick and tired of all the Hialeah drama.I work in miami-lakes hialeah to my disadvantage. My professor said that in life one must make sacrifices and amend to improvising. I hate where I work at but one can't have it all can they? I work at a restaurant called Ruby tuesday, it's a good place to eat, it has a salad bar, excelent burgers good quality food and a relaxing atmosphere. To work there, that's a diffrent story, I get paid two dollars plus tip, my manager treats every one like a piece of old meat and the guest are at times hard to please.The only plus side of this job is that it helps me pay my bills and iv'e been working there for 1 year and 6 months.

If only i could find a better possition here in this gigantic new city I'd be blessed. I think I found a great chance to be happy, grow and plan for the future.I can see my dreams slowly coming close to reality. My new wonder is how long will this adventure, vacation and happiness last? My new wonder is what does god have planned for me? Whats in store for me in this new city? How would my life change? For the better or worst?

how i feel about the beach

The beach is the most wonderful place on this earth. The scenery is pleasant, air crisp and the sand is so soft like heaven to my feet. I remember going a lot to the beach when I was little and soon as I got my driver's license that has been my gettaway place. My paradise, my room, I feel right at home.I enjoy everything there the sun,games of volley ball, picnics, walks, relaxing, bathing, my list is endless. If I can live anywhere it would have to be near there, maybe the one located on hollywood florida the one beach i've been to most frequently in my entire life.





My favorite thing to do at the beach is read books by my favorate author nicholas sparks. Most of his stories take place on the beach. As I read, I take momentarily pauses and I think about my life. That is my escape. I figured maybe in my past lifetime I was a beautiful mermaid. I could talk to the fish and collect the best sea shells in the world and make unique necklaces. My imaginary expands to age twenty-one. The things I feel and think about when I visit this magical place.

Borges and I reaction piece

My outlook in life is that it is very precious.Living a happy life is not as easy as people

interpret.It takes a lot of commitment, doing good deeds, excersizing the mind and body and

surrounding your self around positive things.This person who knew this Borges character lived

this discouraging lonely life.I'ts seems to me that the narrator gave up all his/her beleifs gave

up his/her dreams to accomodate Borges.Well like I was stating earlier one has to live their life

to the fullest not in a nessasary spontaneous matter but just comfortable enough to not feel

depressed.I feel as a human being it is normal to have emotions and get stressed out.Sometimes

a good pat it the back or a simple "I know you can do it" is all one needs to know that they are not

alone. The narrator was missing that ,maybe Borges was the only family he/she had.Maybe she

just lived like the shadow of Borges,unnoticed.